I have heard so many times that love is blind, but I have not seen anyone who goes to take hold of the mad person on the street as his/her heartthrob. I believe so much in life that every problem I have ever had, I got myself into it. Nobody dragged me kicking and screaming into the problem. If you go to a motel and get caught with someone who is not your wife or husband, it is not because you magically appeared there out of thin air. You had to plan to be there.
I have also heard that "First impression can be deceptive". It follows therefore, that people form an opinion of someone based on their first encounter. This impression can be positive or negative. A person's manner of dressing, gait, and etiquette are some of the criteria upon which an impression is formed.
Outward appearance can also be deceptive. It does not always reflect what is inside. Consider the coconut which may look good outside but it is rotten inside. Also, consider the woman who is an epitome of humility but her gait portrays her as proud. All these tell us that appearance can be deceptive. This therefore, has made it clear that love is always a choice people make, not as a result of their emotions.
I overheard someone telling his friend how to compose himself before appearing in the presence of a woman he would like to befriend. He said that women want men who are confident, not too apologetic, since no man is loved by apologizing for everything. In other words, he must be himself, displaying some of the "bad boy" qualities, even though women like men who are gentle, with good sense of humor; men who are good listeners, faithful, and can treat their women well; men who are sensitive, ambitious and full of thoughtful surprises; and men who are in good shape to take care of them properly. Good talk, isn't it such things can truly trigger someone's emotions but cannot build a lasting relationship.
In Galatians 5:19-21, Paul mentions seventeen of the terrible "works of the flesh" which are capable of deceiving one in a moment of decision. Nine of these are sins against love. And he says in Ephesians 4:31; "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice". Here Paul answers the question why love is a choice and not an emotion, showing us why there is so little love among Christians, and why it is so hard to arouse such love. All these sins, according to him, are "works of the flesh".
By this saying, even the earnest Christian is still in the flesh. He tells us that in the flesh, dwells no good thing, because the mind of the flesh is enmity against God. It is quite impossible for a Christian by his own efforts to lead a life of love. Scripture says that when we walk in the Spirit of God, it will be impossible for us to fulfill the lusts of the flesh. The Spirit enables us to keep the flesh always in subjection. The "fruit of the Spirit" will be Christ's love poured into our hearts as a fountain of love. Paul adds that the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus is what makes us free from the law of sin.
Since it is the grace of God that will always enable the Christian to walk, not after the flesh, but after the Spirit, then it becomes evident that love is a matter of choice and not an emotion. It is also evident that since the Christian cannot in his own strength love God and his fellow-man, emotion can never lead him to a blind acceptance of what can involve his life. Also, the great reason for so much bitterness, lack of love and the numerous emotional outbursts in so many quarters today is because the Christian walks after the flesh. The only sure way to abide in this life of love, to love God and Christ with the whole heart, to love the brethren fervently, and to have a tender compassionate love for all who do not yet know Christ - is an absolute surrender to the Holy Spirit (a choice), to be led and be guided by Him each day of our lives. It is through the Holy Spirit that this love is shed abroad in our hearts.
Friend, it is my wish that you learn the lesson that will make the Holy Spirit take entire possession of you, and work continually within you, a life of love to Christ and to all men. Pray over this thought until it gains control of your whole being!